Good on you to keep a sense of humor through all that! I would definitely do the same thing and demand all the pictures so I could post them. I would feel academically obligated to. Plus it would make me feel so badass. Hopefully that vacuum method has an impact and facilitates the healing process. If for some reason all of this turns out to be ineffective in closing the wound, I’ve heard good things about Hyperbaric chambers and open wounds. I think the physiology behind it is still unclear, but I’ve seen several cases of people with large open wounds like yours who spend a couple hours a week in a hyperbaric chamber and the results seem to be promising. I don’t know if this applies to you since there is a bacteria involved, but I just thought I’d post this to let you know. Goodluck!